el

If You Ever Go to Houston / Boys, You Better Walk Right





Over

You can pull the purple fringe
That runs from off the tabletop,
Or you can pull the purple fringe
Above her black sad lashes.
They will find you out before it's up.
The desk clerk never offers a tab.

You're spinning over rusted drains.

All those months you brushed up Joyce,
The weeks you worked to drop your voice,
All river running over falls.


- 10/13/20
  • Current Music
    Van Morrison - Into the Mystic
el

I Can Live in Your Dreams / I Can Be What You Need Me to Be, Baby





Thursday Night

The windows fog
Refracting hotel neon
From across the empty street.

She lies upon the couch,
Her curls around her chocolate eyes
Alit by cell phone video

The timer's silently on guard,
Awaiting the moment
For attending to the soaking bags of tea,
The fragrant steam so calm,
The quiet liquid covertly working
Pulling out the essence.


- 10/12/20
  • Current Music
    Cousteau - The Last Good Day of the Year
el

My Baby Making Eggplant Parmesan / When He's With His Other Baby / He's a Vegetarian





Grief

You have been sad.
Your dog has died,
And that promotion didn't come through.

But you have never lost the land
And watched as everything inside
Is wrapped in cotton
Gasping
While beeping hits a solid note
That will not stop,

Broken ladders
Forever under clouds,
The sky denied,

The years and losses
Brought to empty sheets
And mental leaks into your daily haze,
And that is all.

You don't get over.
You hold it,
Burning blue at first,
Then slowly red,
Then ashes,
Dust so cold you miss the pain
That ate you.

God will give you
More than you can bear,
And you will bear it
Every day.


- 8/19/20
  • Current Music
    Madonna - Oh Father
el

Say It Loud!





Your Son

When I was born a son
I cried so clear and loud.
I didn't know
My mother smiled
While choking back her tears.
She knew I shot into the world
And straight into the ground,
A knee on top my throat.
Since the morning I was born,
Every day
A knee on top my throat.
I cannot breathe,
Even when I try to run.

Always been a tall boy.
Been called a thug
Since I was twelve.
Inside the stores,
I live beneath a hundred eyes,
My shoulders and my back
Bent beneath a hundred eyes.

I try to get away
Escape where I am just a man.
It's like running underwater.

Oh god
Don't pull me over.
Please just let me pass.
I checked my lights again before,
My speed eleven times a second.
I almost hit a parked sedan,
My vision locked onto the rearview
Waiting for the lights,
Another check upon the never-ending lethal list,
The thousand one-way doors
That open to a bed and bars,
That swing onto a mark eternal.
Don't employ that boy.
He's one of the million bad ones
Blighting our metropolis.
He's no mayor,
No basketball player.
He probably has a gun.
He's like those we have to watch,
The other ones.

Unless,
Of course,
It just the knee,
My final moments
Bled on concrete.
I tried so hard.
I'm sorry, mom.

I cannot breathe,
I cannot swallow
Always running underwater.


- 6/2/2020
  • Current Music
    Curtis Mayfield - We Are the People Darker Than Blue
el

I Saw Your Girlfriend / And She Was Eating Her Fingers / Like They're Just Another Meal





No Signal

I sincerely hope you choose the hills,
The somber rocks and moody shades,
The scent of showers, sound of storms,
The sense of carefree lostness.

The air is wet
And not infected.

Through the screen
She traced the ghostly steam
Escaping to exposed pipework
Against the naked brick
And waited,
Though she knew too clearly his steel entanglements,
His tethered affection.


5/27/20
  • Current Music
    Caribou - You and I
el

I've Been In Trouble, But I'm Okay





Standing Still, Looking Back

A season without air.
The clock is bleeding dry.
The outside girl is crying,
"Stay away from the well.
The fish will never breathe again."

And this is where we loved,
We loved when springs fell bubbling,
When walls still held,
When clouds arose above our ankles.


- 5/26/20
  • Current Music
    TOKIMONSTA - Renter's Anthem
el

I'm Thinking About the Water Down Below / And What Got Lost





Washed Up on Shore

Her fingers smell of vodka
The fumes of sanitizer streaks.

At my job,
I watch the dying line,
Dynamos and bored robots,
Gigolos and juggernauts.

The night was peeled,
Revealing yellow stripes
Along her spine,
Her sweating shoulder blades.
The years of kissing in crosswalks
Of public huddles sharing breaths
Bob above,
Beneath the ocean crests.


Every love you cast away
Will find its passage back
With liquor sweet,
With newly sprouted teeth.




- 5/20/20
  • Current Music
    Car Seat Headrest - Martin
el

I Know You'll Feel Better / If I Spend the Night





My Last

This might be my last good day,
So let me look at you
Before the dread,
The constant fight for air
As lungs inflate with fluid,
So allow me seconds of rarest sentiment
And know my love,
My hazy, strained, all-consuming love.

We have another day,
And it might be our last good day.
Let's not pretend a celebration
While all the world is crumbling.
We should live it as we always do,
Inside our tiny studio
Beside each other
Busy in life
Yet madly in love.

This is how we master death.
We give it nothing
It won't steal,
So laugh and kiss me.


- 4/1/20
  • Current Music
    Beabadoobee - I Wish I Was Stephen Malkmus
el

Darling, Are You Ready for More?





Six Ten

It arrived
Like a former lover in dark green.

The television
Indulges
In body count pornography.

She's wearing scrubs,
Covering and carrying
My world into the burning.

You'll obviously
Notice
There's a large leak
In the ceiling
By the window
So much better
On a rainy day.

Her absence echoes
Through the studio apartment.
Outside
The city is falling away.



- 3/18/20
  • Current Music
    Strokes - Bad Decisions