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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in L. Bangs' LiveJournal:

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Friday, May 26th, 2017
11:15 am
People Turn the TV On / It Looks Just Like a Window




25

Those years you felt too much,
The loss,
The crave remaining,
Guilt an itch unmerited,
A poison ivy pleasure,

Shedding lovers,
Leaving trails of crumbs
Nobody followed.
You were there
And so were they.
Nobody found you,
Lounged amid the mess of stranger animals.

Dazed,
The ground evades your feet.
You never dreamed the day
You missed the ache,
The delicate undying longing
Hopeless.


- 5/26/17
Thursday, May 25th, 2017
11:06 am
Lovers in the Street / They Look So High / You Brush Against a Stranger / And You Both Apologize




Missed Connection

Walking over boring prairies
Right before you step into the dew
And hear the click.

I left no fingerprints
Upon your back.
We couldn't make the schedules align.
The numbers never fit,
It mere potential,
Not important.
We would've proven so much effort.
It was cold that morning.

Lit,
It would have leveled monasteries,
Cities whole, complete.
Our world would burst and burn.
It might have caught our very lives.

Praise your god or shake your head.
It didn't go
Off.
The boulevard is crowded,
And we've hours of work ahead.


- 5/25/17
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017
12:01 pm
Well This Will Eat Up a Year of My Life




In the Middle of the Night

We cast so high
Our cords of toughest leather
And pulled the sun to sea.
The moon,
Your lover,
Skinny-dips indulgently across the darkness,
Through the skimpy streaks of grey.

The future's highway water.
The past won't stay in place,
But now this night
She smells of cardamom
And chamomile
And sour musk so sweet.

So many decades
Visiting hay farms
With needles by the sacksful,
Only hitting targets by mistake,
Your sweat,
An endless stream of error,

Now to sleep
Your cheek on top her scented chest
For hours,
For endless days.


- 5/23/17
Monday, May 22nd, 2017
11:56 am
So Hop in That Water / And Pray That It Works




Fevered

Can you swallow my fingers
And devour my hand whole?
Is that enough,
Your mouth around my elbow?

I felt alarm.
I felt such love.

Put my teeth and tongue into your pocket.
Play the pipes for the lost and bruised children.
Pilgrimage is never what you take,
But what you leave behind.


- 5/22/17
Friday, May 19th, 2017
11:38 am
In the Neon Sign / Scrolling Up and Down / I Am Born Again




Wander

He said beware.
The trees are teeth.
At night, he snores.
I,
The softest random breeze,
Wander on purpose.

He swears my laugh's
A code he cannot crack.
I let it out unthinking,
No enigma seeking his solution.
He delights in patting my hair,

Tamping down the dirt
On top the pet dog's grave.

These twenty years,
I wander on purpose,
Knitting my way
Into the thirty-two trees.


- 5/19/17
Thursday, May 18th, 2017
12:46 pm
Hand Are for Shaking / No, Not Tying




The City Stormed

Ascend like embers over flame.
I'll snatch the bottom of your combustible hemming
And rise.

The march
For seven years
Destroyed the walls
I never dreamed destructible,
And finally, it comes
To this delectable apocalypse.

My God,
Don't flee
Just yet.
My eyes are hunger,
My body, a fire.


- 5/18/17
Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
11:37 am
You're Easily Led / But You're Much Too Scared to Follow




The Key of C Major

Throw the rock into the pond,
The marble water.

The universe is sleeping.
It awaits.

Create whatever courage you lack.
Awake.

The chiseled ripples don't simply appear.



- 5/17/17
Tuesday, May 16th, 2017
12:26 pm
We Should Be Like a Couple of Hot Tomatoes / But You're as Cold as Yesterday's Mashed Potatoes




Thursday

The city doesn't run the buses down here.
Use a lighter, kid.
The matches only end up being evidence
Embarrassing.

Your hair
Is short your shoulders.
I can't breathe.

The coffee down the road's
A dollar and a quarter a cup.
Avoid the eyes.
You'll be fine.

You make it hard to not believe.


- 5/16/17
Monday, May 15th, 2017
11:45 am
I Want to Be the Light / That Burns Our Your Eyes




In Between

She texts a word or two
The early morning.
She doesn't say she's lonely.
Late at night,
I'm always reading what she doesn't write.

The monks downstairs are copying
The dirty little stories of Boccaccio.
The penitents are in the attic
Threshing bloody mea culpa.
Somewhere in between,
I know no holy writ,
No gushing rock
Or burning bush,
Beyond her spirit
And holy flesh
I still can see and taste and smell.

She texts
And asks me why she left.
Outside, the ancient bell
Intones three times across the darkness.


- 5/15/17
Friday, May 12th, 2017
10:18 am
Somebody Could Walk Into This Room / And Say Your Life Is on Fire / It's All Over the Evening News




Afterward

Bestest friends grow up in cocoons. - Zac without a K or H

We didn't understand
The more you list your weight upon it now,
The more you'll limp when it is taken.

The stolen bottles,
The rolling plums and cherries
Lapsing to blossoming tannins,
We had no words to speak of it
Then.
Our dumb and pillowed lips
Just smiled purplish.

You want to know?
You have to ask,
And hours tip like deep stemmed glasses.
Never ending until...

The dusk at noon,
We stood on top the hill,
Ashes of our houses settling over us,
Greying our last moments.
We couldn't see
The basement we enshrined
In gently drunken evenings
Holding hands so close,
I knew your forearm smelled of curry,
The curvature of neck beneath your curls,
The freshest glistened fields at dawn.

We never said a word.
We didn't really want to know.


- 5/12/17
Thursday, May 11th, 2017
11:31 am
His Wicked Sense of Humor / Suggests Exciting Sex




Never Left to Chance

She's hardly mystery,

I breathe repeating,
A careful mantra of carnality,
Ignoring the soreness in my chest,
The sting of spearmint inside my tender eyes,
My legs now numb
Undone.

No light can drape her angular cheeks,
Direct and cool,
Defiantly confident in reluctant space.
She walks in leaning rhythm,
The jangles of the bracelet round the universe's ankle
Spinning like a dervish.

I still don't see the holy ghost I'm looking for.
I lay my god before her throne.
These rainy nights have texture
Only silken weavers can suggest,
Only the newborn fully know
But cannot speak to explain.


- 5/11/17
Wednesday, May 10th, 2017
10:29 am
By May the Tenth, Richmond Had Fell / It's a Time I Remember O Too Well




Conservatory Clock

The seconds splat
Like constant water dripping
Onto the tile,

Splaying,
Always a little longer between
Than you predicted,

Nothing you can halt or hold.
The golden days are draining,

Losing track
Of all the firsts,
And wondering if that was the final kiss,
The last mad flush of love,
The ballast of history,
The warming fuel of melancholy fools.

Once
We blazed,
Consumed.

The ticking slows.
We atomize,
The cool perfume young women walk through,
Then forget,
The notes that slip and stray apart
An hour after being played,
Fog the drivers curse en route to
Vital dinner dates,
The smoke exhaled and rising on thermals,
Spreading to become the still air
Of the muggy moonless evening.


- 5/10/17
Tuesday, May 9th, 2017
11:07 am
Songs are Like Tattoos




Falling Away

I surge throughout

A static clinging all my parts
Except the bit I left to you.

I watch the headlights rise
Outside my window,
Pause to twist,
And go at last,
The plunging clouds in silver slants
Aside the street glow,
The silken mists before stars in line,
Watch so many signs
Unsatisfied,
Unspooling

Pieces falling,
Suds from sponges.


- 5/9/17
Monday, May 8th, 2017
10:58 am
Before I Can Speak / My World Is Wishing Me Asleep




Song of the Current

Break my head.
My world is rain.

I'll never make love again
(ever o ever)
Without a ruin bloody
Running down my chest,
My body a bombing ground,
My world sad rain.

You know the way this dies,
The way of age.
My mind is river smoke.
They're slaughtering mermaids in Japan
And capturing the cries on tape.
The tide has bled away.
It won't be back,
The brutal way of age.

That was my final glory,
The shadow I'll build my life beneath.
I tried so hard.
I'll ache forever when you leave
Full-handed with the winter current.


- 5/8/17
Friday, May 5th, 2017
11:08 am
This Is the Story of How We Begin to Remember




Not a Poem

This is not a poem.
This is where I live,
Where once I loved.
Give it a thump.
A melon ripe,
Empty inside,

A crumpled treasure map
You're the second to receive,

A dated atlas of my ravaged mind.

Perhaps I'll travel,
Trusting these words to you.
Maybe I'll find another face to kiss
And bend my path to this
Again
Some time,

These structured distorted rooms of words,
These lyrical tumbling lines,

And I will knock,
And I will search,
And you for certain will be gone,
On to another mess of rhyme.

Here.


- 5/5/17
Thursday, May 4th, 2017
11:06 am
I Need Something to Fly / Over My Grave Again




Shadowbursting

In the blinding noon,
You're hardly there at all,
but as the sun grows weary
And surrenders,
You appear,
Nearly dominating the contour of the landscape.

Go,
And I will turn about
And wind within a roll
Of wrapped night air

And be me pure.


- 5/4/17
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017
12:18 pm
Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines / In Pieces on the Ground




Gone By

Don't bother cracking me open.
The cavities won't echo expectations.
I'm hollow,
Without an evil heart
Or a large and heavy one.
It's all been worn and eaten.

So send the crowd away.
Refund every ticket.
The rehearsals never promised much,
And as always,
I'll deliver.

You, however,
Stay an hour.
You are tying me to ground.
Remind me why I refuse to float
On diamorphine clouds
Carelessly into the milky air.


- 5/3/17
Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017
12:07 pm
He's Felt the Ambience of God / Like a Heat Mirage on the Highway




Enough

Cross legs.
Sit up straight.
Everybody's someone's child.
Everyone's something's slave.

Breathe
Yourself
Out.

I was never more.

She calls from Chicago.
She swears the world is crumbles,
Pebbles scattering
Of culture, faces, disputations
And sensations mangled, confused.
She lost her lens,
She cries.
She lost me.

Breathe
Out
Yourself.
Kiss.

I was always more.
Humans can acclimate
Even to genocide,
Even to bliss.
Enough is where I began.
I grow
To more.


- 5/2/17
Monday, May 1st, 2017
12:29 pm
Never Enough Time to Spend / Haven't Done Enough for This to Be the End




Beautiful, Singing

What were those words
You swallowed on that day?
Please, tell me
While I'm still here.
I hurt so much,
A little more won't matter.

Open up my chest.
Discover treasures
You never knew of,
Golden purple vibrant things
Pulsing.

My eternal friends,
The swans in sky
At day's end,
Beautiful, singing soft as they depart.

I cannot see where they ascend.
Maybe they don't know.
We fly because
We fly.
The end is just another stroke
Of our mortal resilient wings.

Tell me, please,
Before you fly away.


- 5/1/17
Tuesday, April 25th, 2017
11:27 am
You Don't Know How Precious You Are / I Am the One Who Lives




Underwater

When we cut the final thread at last for good,
I let myself go below.

I don't know how
You smelled of purple powder.

I allowed myself to sink,
As children limp their legs and hold their breath
Till bubbles rise
And wonder if really they'll stay on the bottom of the pool
Forever.
I believe the salamander understands.

I showed you once how to throw your left.
You nearly knocked me out.

I'll never go below again.
I rose and started homeward
Over fresh and fragrant fields
Rioting violet and green.


- 4/25/17
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